It seems like sometimes certain things happen when you lest expect them. Take for example someone whom you probably wouldn't even think of meeting/talking to at all.
As of recently, I am back to seeing someone, at the current stage we're, I'd say we're dating. It all started 2 weeks ago when I was at Sauce for Friday night drinks w G. Scrolling through IG as we chat and drink and happen to see this acquntaine of mine was at Sauce too! Decided to comment and said Hi and didnt expect he'd see it and replied me. Then he came over and we managed to catch up for awhile.
So this accquaintine was actually a colleague of mine during HSBC days 2yrs bck when I was dd a temp job there bef my uni started. We didn't even talk at the time when we were in the same dept but diff teams hence we only know each other's existence. Or mayb at that point of time, I jus came in, all new to th enviroment and then wasn't too cool with making too much friends so I was rather cool. HAHAHA. And then I was also managing a breakup at that time with my ex-bf. So we were chatting and making fun of each other on why we didn't talk back then. Exchanged numbers and would jus say we will catch up over lunch/dinner someday. It happened jus the following sunday where we headed to MBS, Au Chocolat for dinner. Ambience and food was all in place. I guess Em took the effort to dress up too, knowing his vanity. HAHA. So things were kinda looking like a date than a friend-friend dinner. I wasn't too sure so I decided to play by ear. Aft dinner plans wasn't made so we decided to take a good stroll outside MBS towards One Fullerton. It was a quiet night with not much crowd i guess cause its Sunday. We just stroll and talk along the way. It was rather nice having to be catching up like good old times. So we ended up at Sauce, the place where we first met, for drinks. And the conver just went on and on till 11plus and we ended the Sunday. I didnt expect myself nor Em to be calling up or texting me again the next day. But it jus happened. Maybe we all could feel the mutual feeling we had and decided to take a step to know each other better as friends. I was rather cool since I felt that its high time I shld.
I hadn't been able to open up to a guy ever since I was outta my last r/s last year. It has been a good one year of being single hence when I knew somehow me and Em were dating, I kinda felt weird for the first instinct. Maybe I wasn't exactly prep for it and ready to accept th fact that someone is gg aft me and dating me. HAHA, as weird as it sounds, I do get pretty shy abt such things. I was having this "devil vs angel" thingy gg inside my mind. But I chose to tell myself to take on this step and slowly try. I didn't wanted to push myself into a r/s with anyone nor hurt anyone hence I made it clear to Em about my thoughts. I was glad we had talks so we can better know how our past was like and our thoughts towards a r/s. Slowly, it became clear to me that we were dating. HAHA. Things just proceeded on slowly. I was feeling quite comfortable as well cause I always dislike whenever th other party is too agressive, it jus scares me away. On a daily basis, we keep in touch through texts. Knowing that we both are managing a job now,we're clear that this perspective of r/s we're heading for is no longer like a 17/18 yrs old thing where we need to spend as much time and see each other every single day. Rather,it is more of quality time tgt and just having our work-life balance still.
I rmb reading this book about "Five Languages of Love" before when I was quite lost in th previous r/s. I thought it was a meaningful book cause it def is very realistic and not just words. Hence after my workout jus now, I took a good long walk back home and started to apply whatever I've read into my current life now. I guess Em shares this 2 acts of love; Acts of service and quality time tgt. I guess we both comprehend the same thing. And also the fact that he knows where I am coming from. I prefer a quality time than having a day to day must see each other thing. I still want my personal space for myself,family and friends. Being able to continue doing what I love and gg after what I want in life. But of course, we do make compromises sometimes, i guess its inevitable cause thats how you get along. Hence as much as I know there're certain things I would want to be dd, I will def be responsible for my own life and actions.
I see things in a long term perspective and its true for a r/s. I wouldnt want to be just having a r/s now and thats all. But rather a r/s that keeps going for good. And I rmb this, someone asked me before " would u rather be loved or love someone?" I used to be love someone till I lost my rationale. Now I'd choose to be the one who's blessed to be loved. Its selfish but there's always someone in a r/s that will love th other party more. And of course, the other party will then reciprocate too through other channels of love. I think it is a good beginning to letting me learn to open a new chapt and start to learn all over again. Everyday I try to learn something new. I try to be better person as I am along the way. And I knw one day, I am able to do it.
Thankful for all the bad that shaped me into someone so much better now. And for the good that happened, I will hope that things gets better slowly too. Life's unfair but fair at times. Maybe this time round, I am having my share of all the good karma I've sow.
Love,
Rachh
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